My nipple is on Facebook.
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Randomize
