oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
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