There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Randomize