So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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