I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
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Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
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My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
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