apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
is it fun? or sober?
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
