Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
this hospital has no fireball
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
