I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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