Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
