I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Randomize
