If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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