should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Randomize