When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
