She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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