So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Randomize
