ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Randomize
