i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Randomize
