if you like me you must not know who I am
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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