Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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