She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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