Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
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