we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Randomize
