Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
