Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
