I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
