just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
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