to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
