he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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