Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
you win again, gameday.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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