He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
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you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
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Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
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