I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
