Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
