it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
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