And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Randomize
