My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
I just found puke in my bra..
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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