I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
