you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
