I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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