There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Randomize
