also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Randomize
