Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
