Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
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Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
He did a backflip because drugs
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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