he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Naked Twister starts at high noon
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize