I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
