You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
