just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Randomize
