It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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