why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
