I murdered the dance floor call the cops
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Randomize
