Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
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