Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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