Don't you send me to vm
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
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