a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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