I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
