You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
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