I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
