On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Randomize
