She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
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